Lately, I’ve been feeling like something is missing in my marriage. My husband, Mark, and I have been together for over a decade, but the spark seems to be fading. We used to be so connected, so in tune with each other’s needs and desires, but now, it feels like we’re living separate lives under the same roof.

Mark has become so absorbed in his work that he hardly notices me anymore. His days are filled with meetings, deadlines, and business trips, leaving little room for us. When he finally comes home, he’s exhausted, his mind still wrapped around the issues of the day, and our conversations have become surface-level at best. The once passionate nights have dwindled to a few pecks on the cheek and distant goodnights.

I can’t help but find myself wondering if I’m still attractive, if I’m still desirable. I catch myself looking in the mirror a little longer, scrutinizing every line, every curve, questioning if I’ve lost that part of myself that once felt so confident, so sure of my appeal. I dress up, hoping he’ll notice, but his eyes never seem to leave his phone or the work he brings home.

There are moments when I think back to how it used to be—how he used to look at me with a fire in his eyes, how we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. But now, that fire feels like it’s been reduced to embers, barely flickering. I miss the way he used to touch me, the way he used to make me feel like I was the most important person in his world.

It’s hard not to feel lonely, even when he’s right there beside me. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he brushes it off, saying he’s just tired or stressed from work. He doesn’t see the way his neglect is slowly chipping away at my self-esteem, at my sense of worth. I crave the intimacy we once had, the connection that made everything else in life seem manageable.

I’ve even found myself seeking validation elsewhere—whether it’s the lingering glances from a stranger or the compliments from a coworker. It’s not that I want to act on these things, but they remind me that I’m still seen, still desired by someone, even if it’s not the person who’s supposed to matter the most.

I know that marriage goes through phases, that the initial passion can fade and be replaced with something deeper, more enduring. But right now, I feel like we’re stuck in a rut, and I’m not sure how to pull us out. I don’t want to lose what we’ve built, but I also don’t want to lose myself in the process. I just want to feel like I matter to him again, like we still have something worth fighting for.