Married life is supposed to be about building a future together, but for us, it often feels like we are haunted by the past. My husband, despite his love and dedication, is constantly battling something that I’ve come to understand as retroactive jealousy. It’s a strange and painful thing, to be in love with someone who keeps comparing themselves to men who are no longer part of my life.

Whenever we talk, it seems like he can’t help but bring up my past relationships, even though I assure him they mean nothing now. He compares himself to the men I’ve dated, worried that he doesn’t measure up to their accomplishments, their looks, or their charm.

I’ve tried to reassure him, to tell him that he is the man I chose, the one I want to be with. But the shadows of my past seem to loom over our relationship, creating a wall between us that’s hard to break down. He often asks me about details I’d rather forget, wanting to know if they were better than him, if they made me happier.

It’s a weird behavior, one that hurts both of us. I don’t understand why he feels the need to torture himself with these comparisons. I’ve never given him a reason to doubt my love or my commitment to him, yet he continues to be consumed by jealousy over men who are long gone from my life.

Some days, it feels like I’m competing with ghosts, unable to convince him that he is the one I want. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking to see the person I love so insecure and afraid. I want him to see what I see – a wonderful, loving man who is more than enough for me.

I know this isn’t normal; it’s something we need to work through together. But until then, I’m stuck in this strange and painful loop, trying to reassure my husband that he doesn’t need to be afraid of my past. He is my present, my future, and the one I love with all my heart.